


Funny Guy, Funny Girl

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Car Sex, Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Laughter During Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 20:43:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1442203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The funny guy doesn't get the girl, except when he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny Guy, Funny Girl

The funny guy doesn't get the girl, and Connie is the funny guy.

See, there are two problems with that cliché.

One is that Sasha is the funny guy just as often as Connie is, gendered role assignments be damned. She's also the funny one in _his_ life, even if Connie probably qualifies as the _group's_ comic relief. It always feels like she's the one who swoops in to make him smile just when he needs it, whether it's because he just bombed the SATs, or his mom is in the hospital again, or everything's just a bit too much today. He loves her _fiercely_.

The second problem is that, well. Connie _totally got the girl_. Or maybe Sasha got the boy? It's hard to tell, and Connie completely doesn't give a shit because they're in the backseat of his dad's car and Sasha is pulling her shirt over her head. He smiles so wide it actually hurts his cheeks, because, come on, _boobs_ , and Sasha starts laughing. She isn't laughing _at_ him, she's just happy, and isn't that the cutest thing? Connie has the best girlfriend, no contest.

“Come _here_ , you dork,” She says through her laughter, scooting back towards his knees so he can sit up a little. He wants her back on his lap, but boobs take first priority. She doesn't protest _at all_ when the first thing he does once he's sitting up is hug her tightly around the waist and push his face into her boobs like an excited puppy. Definitely the best girlfriend.

“Your boobs are awesome,” Connie's voice is muffled, but Sasha makes out the words anyways.

“All of me is awesome. C'mon, take your clothes off, I wanna makeout,” Sasha says, pawing at his shoulders to encourage him to disengage from her chest. Who is Connie to deny her what she wants? He pulls back enough to struggle out of his t-shirt, and then Sasha pounces on him.

He bangs the back of his head on the car door, and Sasha snort-laughs in that way that makes her sound like a pig. It isn't sexy at all. Connie likes it.

“So graceful,” Sasha coos with exaggerated affection, like she's swooning. Connie grins mischievously and grabs for her ribs, tickling her. Sasha shrieks a protest through her laughter and tries to back away. There isn't anywhere for her to go in the backseat of the car, though, so Connie is on top of her almost immediately.

Somebody starts the next kiss, but Connie isn't entirely sure which of them it is. All he knows is that Sasha has a hand on the back of his neck and she's nibbling on his lower lip. He moans low, and that seems to encourage her, because now there's a hand on his groin.

This is as far as they've gone before, a little bit of heavy petting before somebody has curfew or Jean needs a ride somewhere or Sasha's mom gets home. Nobody needs them anywhere now, though. Connie isn't sure which of them is more aware of that, him or Sasha. Maybe Sasha, because she makes the most delighted little noise when she finds his dick. It's her 'the cafeteria has pizza' noise and that should _not_ be arousing, but it totally is.

Connie's hips come up off the seat and he exhales hard. He doesn't remember closing his eyes, but when Sasha stops, he opens them up again. Sasha is _taking her pants off_. This is a 100% acceptable alternative to groping his dick, because _holy shit_. The fact that her panties have kittens on them doesn't phase him in the slightest.

“Are we gonna..?” Connie asks, and his voice sounds way more breathy and stupid than he'd expected. Sasha smiles at him.

“I have a condom from health class in my bag,” She informs him, sounding incredibly proud of herself. Connie feels a little bit like all the air just went out of the car. Sasha is crawling into the front seat in a bra and panties and _he is about to lose his virginity_.

“Holy shit,” Connie says aloud, and Sasha pops her head over the passenger seat to grin at him. It's only now that he notices that she looks a little nervous-- undeniably excited, but there's a bit of nervousness there too.

“Holy shit,” She says, like she's agreeing with him, and then she's awkwardly flailing her way back into the backseat. He reaches out his arms to help her, and Sasha crawls right into his lap. He's a little bit shellshocked, not sure what to do from here, but she seems to know that, reaching back to undo her bra. He's never been able to get it, not on the first try.

“You okay?” She asks him, because he's staring transfixed at the condom she'd dropped into his lap when she went to undo her bra. Normally, if her boobs are on display, they have his attention. Connie looks up, swallows hard.

“You're sure about this?” He asks, his voice feeling stuck in his throat. Sasha kisses him, on the lips and then on the jaw.

“'course I am. I love you, dumb-butt, and I'm ready, you know?” She says, and Connie's heart might skip a beat. Maybe. He pulls her close and she laughs with delight, kissing all over his face.

The sex lasts 36 seconds exactly.

Connie gets her off with his hands afterwards, because he might be the funny guy, but Sasha deserves more from him than shitty jokes. She deserves more from him than orgasms too, he's sure of that. She deserves _everything_.

So he wants to give her everything.

(He's the first boy in their group to lose his virginity, and when he brags about it, Jean tries to get him in trouble with Sasha. She high-fives Connie right there in front of everyone, and Jean shuts right up. Connie has the _best goddamn girlfriend on the planet_.)


End file.
